Parental Alienation/Missed Parenting Time
child custody attorney Minnesota Jul 22, 2026
Location: Minnesota I have 2 sons with my ex. One is now 19, the other is now 15. From around December 2019 to early 2022, my ex and her partner withheld my sons from seeing me. I've never put a hand on either of my sons in anger, I'd done nothing wrong to prompt this. During that time I saw my older son twice and my younger son once. At the time, I did not have the money for an attorney. Throughout this time, I repeatedly reached out to see my boys, only to receive hateful and mean messages back that I later found out was their mother and/or her partner texting me pretending to be them. In late 2019, I flew down to St. Thomas to do some outreach work on St. John (US Virgin Islands). I told my sons' mother and the boys in advance, and made it clear that I would be back, that I was not gone for good, and that at any time if they needed me, I would fly back immediately. Slowly but surely, while on the Islands, my texts and calls started going unanswered. Covid hit in early 2020, and I flew back almost immediately. The communication continued to decrease to almost none, except for the aforementioned texts. Calls to my sons were never answered. From an emotional standpoint, as their father, this killed me. It got to the point where I truly believed I would never see my boys again. It destroyed me to the point that I made a very serious attempt on my own life in late 2021. I survived after a 5-day coma. Finally, in early 2022, I had enough money to hire an attorney. Within a month I saw my sons together for the first time in over 2 years. They were elated to see me, and they were back in my life again. Complete opposite behavior from the texts I had been getting. Visits were great, and our bond was back. And then the visits started getting canceled. My very first Father's Day after regaining joint legal custody and parenting time in 2022, my ex planned a pool party and tried to cancel the visit. Cut to now and (conservatively) over 25 visits have been canceled and/or missed by their mother. When I regained my sons back into my life in '22, my lawyer informed me that my ex's partner had physically abused my older son when he was 9. My ex never told me. He was charged with Malicious Punishment of a Child, a gross misdemeanor, and was found guilty. When my attorney told me this over the phone I dropped to my knees and screamed. Over the next 2 years visit after visit was missed. Then, in late 2024, my then 17-year-old son came to visit and I could tell something was very wrong. He ended up telling me that his mother's partner had been physically abusive to him repeatedly. I have him on audio outlining this abuse several times. I kept him with me, and did not allow him to go back to his mother's home. Earlier this year, after speaking to him about it again, he went into more detail, and after hearing him I just couldn't take it anymore. I started pulling official sheriff's records from the county that they lived in with my ex and her partner, and there were over 10 different occasions where police/sheriff's deputies were called to the home from 2016 - 2025. I have all the files, and they paint a picture of ongoing domestic violence, drinking, neglect (leaving my sons outside in below freezing temperatures), and cooperation between my ex and her partner to not only scare my sons into not saying anything by telling them they'd be put into foster homes, but also cooperation between the two of them not to tell on each other so as not to get themselves arrested. There's more to it than this, but that's a long enough outline of the situation already. I just scheduled a consultation with an attorney today after receiving yet another message canceling my upcoming visit with my younger son. Any advice, experience, any help would be greatly appreciated. I'll answer any relevant questions you have for me. Thanks in advance, and my heart goes out to any mother or father who has gone through similar circumstances.
